Day 1 postpartum
I decided to write because I feel sad, overwhelmed and discouraged. I got the go ahead on Thursday, yesterday that I could start exercising again. The go ahead to get back to “normal” the go ahead to stop grazing all the time and take back your body. Right? Is that what the go ahead is? To get skinny again? To fit in your size 4 jeans again? It is in my mind. I’ve always had an unhealthy relationship with my body, at least since I could remember. It’s always been a constant struggle. A struggle I absolutely hate. 9 months of carrying a baby have come to an end. When I’m pregnant I don’t.care.at.all anymore. I get huge. Really big. This last pregnancy was the worst. I stopped looking at 160. How could a size 4, 125 person get to 160 at 25 weeks? How does that happen? It’s really hard. It’s discouraging and so I keep eating what I want and causally walk on the treadmill. Here I am beating myself up again. It’s hard not too, I’ve been doing it for a long time. I don’t lov...